Thursday, 16 July 2015

Learn the ways of life - be positive

We all come across relationships where a lot of negativity is thrust upon us be it from parents, siblings, friends, relatives or at work. What effect does this negativity have on our mind and what changes it can bring in us are described below

Loss of confidence- confidence is key to the successful planning and implementation of any idea. If people around you try to break your confidence to believe and implement in your ideas you are very unlikely to do anything with it.

Lack of self esteem- Self esteem is the mirror image of what we hold in our mind. If we don’t see a good image we are unlikely to like it and do anything with it.

Identity crisis- When we are unable to maintain a definition about us due to constant criticism and nagging we will become unsure of who we really are and what we really are capable of doing. This also effects our ability to project what we really feel and think to the outside world.

Low mood/depression- Feelings of guilt and worthlessness can easily develop once we aren’t able to win the approval and acclaim of people around us. This can make us sink very fast without leaving a trace of what our baseline was.
Impaired problem solving abilities-People who constantly are unsure of what they should be doing due to nagging In changing situations will loose the ability to deliver quick results when they are presented with a new situation.
Impaired concentration-Due to inability to depend on themselves to work out any problem people will develop inability to assimilate and process any kind of information and hence will develop problems of concentration as they are wary to pick up any new task due to fear of mistakes or failure.

Lack of foresight- As they get surrounded by feeling of inadequacy within themselves they start loosing ability to process information to deduce inference and their implications over consequences and hence slowly start loosing insight over what their actions might bring. This makes them incapable of doing actions which lead to what they find as desirable results because they are too busy seeking approval from who is nagging them.

Impaired/inappropraite communication – Due to lack of a coherent and independent functioning practice such people are often unsure of what they are speaking and tend of focus only on seeking immediate approval of who they are communicating with and even in that communication they are not accurate as they are worried they may face nagging due to what they may say. Example is stammering in people is somewhat due to same reasons partly.

Personality problems- Such people may often come across as people with borderline personality disorders as they are so weak so sustain a constant personality because they are scared they have to depend on the approval of several conflicting minds none of whom may be erroneous on their own but dependence on all of them may create a clutter of impossible unified solution.

Effect of negative feedback – This whole situation may worsen when the person does not get good results from what he is doing as inspite of his efforts he is not able to get approval of so many differing nagging fractions who he is dependant on. A good feedback and results is an immense booster to the victims efforts in developing his own image and personality.

Impaired social behavior and conduct- Due to such constant inability to please so many different sources and winning their approvals such people develop immense self doubt and tend to perform poorly and avoid social interactions.

Wavering minds-Due to constant criticism and nagging such people very soon develop inability of believe and maintain in what their decisions are and hence come across as people who don’t maintain their thoughts. Sometimes this can lead to a development wherin they just see everything as a task and go about doing them in a goal oriented pursuit without any emotional indulgence or attachment.

Depersonalization/dissociative disorders- In such environment people develop this condition. Symptoms can be classified as either depersonalization or derealization. Depersonalization is described as feeling disconnected or estranged from one's body, thoughts, or emotions. Individuals experiencing depersonalization may report feeling as if they are in a dream or are watching themselves in a movie. They may feel like an outside observer of their own thoughts or body, and often report feeling a loss of control over their thoughts or actions. In some cases, individuals may be unable to accept their reflection as their own, or they may have out of body experiences. While depersonalization is a sense of detachment from one's self, derealization is described as detachment from one's surroundings. Individuals experiencing derealization may report perceiving the world around them as foggy, dreamlike/surreal, or visually distorted. 

Inability to develop intimacy, develop new relationships and maintain relationships- As they depend on many contrasting sources for approvals they develop serious self doubt and loose the ability to develop and maintain intimacy in relationships. They often tend to avoid new relationships due to previous experiences of negative outlash.

Therefore every person, be it a growing child or a new employee, a new partner, or a new friend or a new job is like a new seed we plant. The more good positive support t we provide the plant better the fruit we will get. I would not be too far from truth if I say that our minds and personality is hugely dependant and shaped by people around us who are largely responsible for what we turn out to be.

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