How to combat with problem of phubbing?

Ms. Preeti Sadhu

Post Graduate Diploma In Rehabilitation Psychology, M A Clinical Psychology · Psychologist · 

How "phubbing" is killing your relationship?

It may sometimes so happen that your partner may prefer texting someone else over talking to you. Also sometimes this seemingly harmless habit can turn into an obsession, when your partner just can’t help but steal glances at his phone while you two are trying to enjoy a romantic dinner. If this turns into a constant habit that just doesn’t wear off, then chances are you’re being phubbed by your partner, and what is happening to you has a specific name. It’s called p-phubbing, which is the act of snubbing your partner by being glued to the phone.
What phubbing is doing to your relationships?

The website, StopPhubbing.com shows that Mumbai is the most major hub of phubbing in India. However, the spread of phubbing is not just restricted to Mumbai and has made its presence felt in other metropolitans of the country. Phubbing has led to serious relationship troubles among most couples. James A. Roberts, a professor at Baylor University, co-authored a recent study on phubbing which was published in the journal Computers in Human Behaviour. The study revealed some shocking statistics.

1. More than 46% people complained of being phubbed by their partners
2. More than 22% confessed that phubbing is a major issue in their relationship
3. And about 37% said that being phubbed makes them feel depressed at some point of time.

The study also said that there’s a direct link between phubbing and relationship issues. Phubbing is particularly problematic for those with an anxious attachment style (which makes up 20% of the population of the world), although its effects are also felt on the rest of us. More and more people feel dissatisfied with their partners who ignore them or cut them short mid-sentence to check their phones. Many even feel that their partner is no longer interested in them. For quite a few people it’s the reason behind feelings of insecurity, neglect and depression, and dissatisfaction with life in general. In fact, the study showed that some people had gone as far as ending their relationship as the situation had worsened to a level where it could not be handled.

How can you combat it?

Phubbing now poses as a social evil that must be weeded out of society. If you and your partner suffer at the hands of phubbing, then there are certain things you can do to combat it.

1. The easiest way to put an end to it is to tell your partner how it makes you feel.
2. Make certain rules regarding cellphone use when out on a date, or just spending quality time with each other at home.
3. Alternatively, you can try your partner to quit the habit by leading by example. Don’t use your cellphone at all when with your partner, and show him that spending quality time with him is more important.
4. You can also try educating your partner on the ill-effects of phubbing and how it can adversely impact your relationship. This is best done when you catch him in the act.

Sometimes your partner may not be consciously phubbing you or showing signs of an obsessive phubber, but it is still important to correct his wrong habits. Most importantly cellphones were invented to bring humanity closer, and not distance people even while they are sitting in the same room. So keep that in mind, and put an end to this unhealthy habit.